Investment in Loss

Investment in loss is the principle of embracing and learning from what you may perceive as being challenges, obstacles, mistakes or a lack of development. It is about embracing exactly where you’re at in the moment, in comparison with how/where you’d like to be, especially regarding your goals, whether they be in training, business, health or any general matter in your life that one moves through as they develop, grow and evolve. When you are investing in loss, you are(ideally) appreciating, accepting and even gaining insight from any lack of skill, competency pr insight from your current level of perception and ability.

When someone is displeased to the point of aggravation with their current circumstances, level of alignment or ability and how things are going for them in the moment, they will very likely be missing out on what lessons they could learn and what would potentially nourish their growth in any or all ways. Were they seeing their “set backs” as more of a “stepping back”, their slow development, mistakes or mishaps could become something enabling and not disabling. Mistakes allow us to learn, moving slowly through a process can aid in the filling out of our foundational knowledge and skills…if we rush through things without allowing for ourselves to invest in the loss of time we could sacrifice doing things as well as we possibly could, then even if we go through the process/training/event, than we will not have gotten as much out of it as we potentially could have.

Investment in loss requires the development and maintenance of a certain level of physical, emotional and psycho-spiritual neutrality. One needs to be open enough to be able to perceive their own lack of alignment/harmony without harsh judgement or criticism…instead, it is possible to  learn to be critical, without emotionally charged  judgement, allowing you to perceive the “whats, whys and hows” of any perceived problems, challenges, issues or shortcomings. When someone is more neutral in this way(neutral, not numb, feeling fully, just remaining clear and fairly calm), they are able to remain flexible in ways that allow for one to perceive their path more clearly, beyond circumstances and challenges, gaining insight into how it’s possible to adjust, learn and grow for anything/everything.
Investment in loss, is like allowing the neuroplasticity of the nervous system to become more cohesive over a longer period of time, providing a deeper insight or power…in comparison to just forcing yourself to do something, like body building, where the nervous system(and overall health) is often compromised for large gains in a short period of time. This is why investment in loss is such a big deal in Tai Chi Chuan and the internal arts, but not so much in body building and “external” athletics. Investment in loss, allows for acquired knowledge of deep, foundational principles, where the common type of “full steam ahead” type of learning and growing can leave massive gaps, and can cause more harm than good in the end in many cases. If one is deeply investing in loss, you will have a better quality of growth, and you may even speed up you growth/evolution as well, as you will not have wasted as much time going in what may be the “wrong direction”, and you will have built yourself up to be as balanced, perceptive, healthy and clear headed as possible.
This can be done in all life paths, all disciplines, all sports, all activities, and any business ventures, and is how we can gain vast insight into all areas of our lives. SO, when things are going slow, or seemingly not going at all for you…take advantage of having been forced to step back, and take the opportunity to take a good look at what’s ahead of you, see what you can learn, how you can adapt, where you’re lacking and how you can strengthen yourself or the quality of your action plan…then plod ahead! Don’t rush, don’t force it all the time, just be aware and keep going!
Be like water, water does not rush, it does not force it’s path, it simply perseveres.

Living Prayer/Non-Doing as Spiritualbiosocial Terrain Modification(Alchemy)

What is prayer?
Is prayer limited to divinely directed internal dialogue? Should we limit our communion to the divine to only a mental muttering of our hopes and wishes? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it can be good to clarify ourselves mentally through repeated/cycled “thought mantra”, but prayer can be(is) SO much more.
If prayer is communion with the divine, why would we limit our communion to just stillness, just dialogue, just wording our issues to the creator, when our prayer could be an expression of our intention that weaves with and through our breath, posture, movement, dance and action on any or every level.
Our expression(not just mental, but physical, emotional and psycho-spiritual) is a prayer, this is why healthy humans crave creative expression and movement on all levels, we feel deep down that we must commune with the “divine/eternal” part of the animal..we feel fulfilled when we create from our spaciousness, when we bring something forth in the external from our internal emptiness, when we move from our stillness, or are still within the movement of our experience.


Patterns form in mind, in heart and in body which want to move, want to be expressed through movement. This can become speech, song, movement/motion, touch, sensation etc. All expression changes the physiology through the fluctuation of the vibration in the nervous system.
So the prayer of motion, made with intention of openness, creates space in the body. The prayer of breath brings life into the body. The prayer of song moves spirit into the world. Our prayer is not something we sit down and do at times, it is something we are always doing, and must become aware of, if we wish to commune more consciously with ourselves, and gain greater coherency in the “feedback” of life force always being reciprocated back from the emanations of our motion, be it thought, sensation or physical movement. Prayer is an expressive/intent filled “non-doing practice” when done in an open heart stance(with gratitude/reverence/pure intention).

The state of being we enter when moving dictates the power/magnetism with which we are praying, our will and intention, directs and feeds the current of spirit flowing through us and into our experience. The posture of our hearts, minds and bodies is how we adjust the perceptual antenna. An open mind allows for presences of attention and focus, an open heart allows for depth of feeling and awareness, an open body/field can ground focused awareness with will. Willing our focus into energetic tension nourishes the intention with energy as it is held…this, is a subtle but tangible felt sensation…everyone follow? Our intention is our prayer, and we can shift the focus of our intention in myriad ways to adjust what we are resonating with…resonance enhances/empowers or muddles our prayer. Deeper resonance of mind, body and spirit, as well as the human centers, with the earth/sun/solar system etc, feeds into our ability to move with life flow, and express that life flow through our minds and bodies. Expression of life force through the mind-body interface is prayer, a ripple of experience causing emanations to flow forth. When we feel ourselves as deeply as we can, rest in a truly open heart/mind/body  posture the best that we can, and allow whatever bubbles up from with to arise and be expressed, we are noticing our prayers. Notice how they may not be what you would like them to be…we can be constantly emanating our self-doubt/loathing/fear/anxiety/frustration within and from our minds and bodies and not be aware of it until we notice what is arising in our silence while we are present with it…and as we empty ourselves of all unnecessary activity, silence becomes our prayer.

Silence is the prayer of everything, for everything, of nothing, for nothing…silence is the most powerful prayer, as instead of seeking what is to come from the stillness, we become the stillness , and we begin to saturate ourselves within and therefor emanate the creative force in it’s purest essence. In this state, the mind and the body are absorbed by spirit, and transformation occurs, as the mind and the body are informed(formed, molded, re-birthed) by the still movement of the life force. In this way, prayer is felt experience of a recognition of our internal/spiritual alchemy, a communion with change on every level as it happens. Being present with the process of creation aids in the flow of the creative process…in the same way that we need to be “open and present” with ourselves to let a song, music, dance etc “move through us”, it really does take at least the same level of presence to allow anything in our experience to move through us the way that it potentially can…the potential of flow can be seen in the trance state of shamans, the “zone” of inspired artists, athletes and dancers, or the indescribable strength of a lady lifting a car to save her baby underneath…these are all cases where someone “gets out of the way” and allows spirit to pour through. This is prayer coming full circle in a moment, and becoming the experience immediately. This is when prayer comes alive, through the internal ecstatic communion, when the focal point of the spirit becomes one with the heart(assemblage point) of the body, and it becomes incredibly alive to us, the “lines of communication” are naturally repaired in this state, and are empowered by it, allowing us to connect with nature, by being nature. Communication informs the creative process of the bodies(physical and subtle), and every body has a language, if not more than one. What are you saying to yourself and your experience with the languages of posture, movement, intention, sound, touch, thought and feeling? Do you agree with that? What do you want to say? How does that feel in your body? How does your expression move/breath/sound/touch through you? Are we aware of the force that is moving us? Notice how the desire to sink/drop with gravity, as well as to be lifted by the levity of our presence, and how when the drop and lift are felt at the same time, there is a movement that happens, those forces are churning, mixing and flowing, and the breath and body follow this primordial movement when allowed to, and it goes beyond prayer and communion, into grace and union.

Be still and keep moving <3

The Tao of Feeling Like Crap

Whether it’s physically, emotionally or psychologically, we all have moments, days, weeks, months or years in our lives where we do not feel our best, or ourselves, or we simply do not feel much of anything whatsoever.
Over the years, I have learned how to use the “down periods” in my life to great advantage. Although these times are difficult and challenging for all of us in various ways, these are the times in our lives where we have the opportunity to tap into our potential in extremely powerful ways if we allow ourselves to do so. This doesn’t mean that we will necessarily grow by leaps and bounds during these times, in fact that’s not likely or expected at all for most of us, but it’s during our darkest times that ANY bit of light we shine becomes very evident to us. Just like when we are thirsty, that glass of water feels better than any before it that we can remember, when our internal reservoirs of energy run dry, and we can get a little bit of flow, it really makes an incredible difference, and we learn a lot from it…not because we did a whole lot, but because of the inner strength of our spirit that we tapped into in order to keep going.

Whether it be through breath work, meditation, yoga, qi gong, dancing, jogging, creative expression or any other form of spiritual and/or psycho-physical engagement, we really do have the power to effect change in our bodies and minds(sort of the same thing, it helps to know this). Depending on our practice, or lack of it, and how we’re feeling in the moment, our ability to effect change within our current circumstances may be incredible, or hardly noticeable, but this really isn’t the point. It may be nice to be able to stretch your way out of stiffness, massage away muscle pain, meditate away an over-active mind, or dance away sorrow, but this isn’t really what changes us at a core level, it’s the actual WILLINGNESS to open our hearts, minds and bodies, and to allow ourselves to breath, move, be still(whatever we feel deep down that we need to nourish ourselves) etc that begins to re-wire us and change our actual ability to effect change. When we repeat the motions that take us deeper into ourselves time and time again when we’re not feeling so good, we are learning how to engage ourselves at a very deep level, and every time we do this, we are learning the methods and strategies that will actually work for us in our everyday lives, as preventative medicine. In most cases, if something makes you feel even a little bit better when you’re sick, out of it, depressed or down in the dumps, it’s going to make you feel GREAT when you already have a baseline of energy.

Through this kind of self-engagement/self-nourishment, we can both ease our suffering during times of trouble, and sometimes even balance ourselves out completely, not by avoiding how we feel, but by engaging our minds and bodies(and therefor our spirits) EVEN THOUGH we feel like crap. We can find ways to accept how we are feeling through movement, through breath, through exercise, or when we’re sick, even just totally letting go of everything and allowing ourselves to rest as fully as possible, maybe just noticing how much we have previously ignored our bodies in certain ways, or how we have not been as grateful for it’s regular function as we could be. Taking these lessons into our lives when we’re feeling more like our normal selves gives us more will power, more internal awareness, more gratitude, and an ability to take what we’ve learned and engage in it in deep, powerful, creative and/or playful ways. The more we learn from ourselves when we’re feeling alright, the more tools we have to draw upon to balance ourselves when we get “knocked off course”, and the more we engage ourselves in whatever ways we can when we’re feeling off, the more that we get in touch with our deep spiritual strength, will power and gratitude for life in the moment.

I’ll write about some examples of how I engage myself when I’m not feeling at my best;

If I have a creative idea, or something productive to do, even if I don’t finish it, it’s not the best work or I don’t even end up using it, I’ll start on it, or throw some energy at it anyways, if I feel the pull to do so…it gets some energy moving, or allows me to put focus on something productive, rather than sitting around thinking about how I can’t do anything, or I should be doing something more productive. Sometimes we should do anything at all, but sometimes we can throw words on paper, throw paint on something, or just sing/move/dance a little, and we’ll feel better than we did before, and we may learn from it and get something done later on that’s really good work, inspired by what we didn’t end up finishing previously. Example, I don’t actually feel the best right now, compared to how I usually feel, which is pretty amazing. but I decided to write an article anyways, as it’s productive, and it’s helping me out :)

If I happen to have a headache, or any kind of “dullness” in the head, I check my feet, my knees, my hips, my spine/neck and arms, to make sure my joints are relaxed and open, to be sure blood is able to flow up to my head, I make sure I walk  and move with openness, and I breath deeply, feeling the expansion in all areas of my body. I may lie on the floor, do forward hanging bends, or bounce and shake to get everything moving(this is sometimes the weirdest thing to do when one has a headache, it feels uncomfortable at first, but if you massage the head and neck first, it’s not that bad at all, and you’ll feel MUCH better afterwards), and I massage the acupressure points all over my neck, head and face, making sure my whole head, including the ears, the jaw and even the skull itself is relaxed and open. Patting all over the skull and face further improves the condition. I usually end up with zero dullness/ache after doing these things and can continue on with my day no problem. I do all of these things regularly, including head stands, to prevent headaches and any issues of stagnancy.

If I feel uninspired in a creative/musical way, or in any way in general, I’ll tone my voice or pick up my guitar anyways, even if I only play a few notes or chords or play around with sounds for a few moments…if I open my heart and feel the sound, and really express myself, it changes me, and I tap into my spirit and allow myself to come into a state of “flow”.
If I feel lacking in energy, I play with energy, no matter what you have to do to “warm up”, anyone can feel energy, even a little bit, and when you are feeling your, you are drawing more in. Moving, breathing, creativity etc all help any type of emotion/mental overwhelm or depression, and as long as they’re done mindfully, in a way that you  are really feeling yourself where you’re at, not ignoring anything, and just just giving yourself nourishment via (loving)self-attention, then you are doing yourself a world of good, and you are re-writing the internal programming that causes you to feel “down” in the first place, and it will happen less often as time goes on, as your body will begin to use the states of being you bring yourself into via these methods, as a default state of being, instead of depression, anxiety, anger, fear etc.

There are various other things I do on a daily basis to prevent malaise, or to lift myself up without ignoring my feelings and emotions, but I’ll keep this fairly simple for now. I just wanted to share that feeling like shit, is not the end, and that as long as you have a willingness to feel yourself, and go on with life anyways, without avoiding giving yourself the attention you need(which is why most people feel like crap in the first place!), than you can actually tap into spirit/the tao, through your “lows” as well as your “highs”, eventually, you will find a neutral space between them, and feeling a bit better or worse will not really deeply effect your state of being and happiness, as that is not dependent upon the fleeting moment, it is a thing that stays with you, no matter what is happening or how you feel.

If you’d like to know more about how you personally can make change and feel better whether you’re “up or down”, effectively making change in your life by getting in touch with yourself, feel free to get in touch with me!

Take care, be still and keep moving <3

Freeing the Mind and Body, Nourishing the Spirit-Holding Space and Creating Openness


I’m going to share probably the most simple and profound way that I know to enhance your life in all ways and catalyze your health, growth and evolution. People in the spiritual community may have heard others say “I’m holding space for [this or that]” or “Please hold space for me!”…but has anyone ever talked about how to do that? How do we hold space? How do we feel and recognize it in the first place and how do we create more of it in a real and practical way?
This is how you can access more of your humanness as well as the “shamanic” part of yourself, which is in everyone…it’s accessed when you hollow yourself out, when you empty all the crap we tend to hold onto, and start to hold onto space…cuz space is where spirit can reside(this is why having an “open” heart, mind and body is so helpful and why it feels so good…it’s what everyone craves, usually without knowing it).

We usually identify with ourselves as our bodies, and further more we identify mostly with our tension, pain and “solidity”…and we basically end up feeling closed down, and like solid rocks(calcified) by the time we’re in our 40s, 50s or 60s…or even sooner. When is the last time you noticed where you felt empty in your body? There is basically a ton of “hollow” areas in the body naturally, the lungs being very noticeable, which is why the breath is so important in spiritual practices, or any type of exercise…in order to move, we need space to move, externally and internally as well.
We would move some stuff out of our ways to move around a room, so why do we tend to not move ourselves around to make room within the body? Notice your posture as you read this. Are you folding in half at the diaphragm while sitting at your computer? Or are you sitting up straight? Whatever you’re doing, notice HOW you’re doing it and how empty you feel…if you sit up, hunch back into your previous position and notice how you’re closing down at the solar plexus, like a bent straw. If you were sitting up, are you forcing yourself into the position with some sort of strain? Or are you allowing your body to relax, while allowing the flowing movement of your breath to keep you inflated on the inside?
The breath wants to move in a circle, up from your core, expanding the spin and filling the chest and head as well as the arms, then down through the heart/chest, through the abdomen into into your sexual organs and legs…notice if you’re allowing yourself to take full breaths, and notice how a full breath feels in your body, it moves you all over the place…how much are you allowing the breath to move you?

Now, you can adjust your posture in any way to be more physically aligned, that’s great, but do you feel open in your body while doing it? Notice the emptiness of the lungs, or maybe, the throat, maybe it’s your head, or your legs or your hands where you feel the most relaxed, the most spacious, and see if you can “spread out” that space. Tense and relax your entire body and see if you’re tension and openness are as evenly distributed as they can be…just the act of feeling your internal structure and sensations will be a great learning experience.

The easiest and most beneficial area to notice is the center line of your body. If you were to draw a line all the way through your center/core from the highest part of your head to the ground, is it open like a tube? Or is it cut off somewhere? Does the tube cut off at the shoulders or hips? Or does it keep feeling open through them as well? Move your arms, your neck, hips and legs, and your spine as much as you can in comfortable ways, stretch like you would when you awaken from a wonderful nap, or like a cat who’s been lying in the warmth of the sun…notice how much more open you feel? Now notice any space that you’ve created, and notice that as you go through the rest of your day that certain thoughts, emotions and stresses will act like a force that compress this space…go through the motions again and be sure to take back that space if it’s been lost. If you lost it completely, notice how it felt. This is why trees are great example…think of how it would feel to be a tree, completely rooted, weight set firmly into the earth, yet completely filled with presence, eternally extended, reaching and growing eternally, strong as can be, yet with space enough within you for fluid to flow through and nourish even the smallest bud and leaf. Empty your center and core, then empty your limbs, then empty into the ground and into the sky…feel the movement of life within the space, instead of the stuckness of impending death caused by the stiffness of looped thoughts, stifled emotions and ignored tension.



“Open yourself to life, like you would to the most intimate of lovers”(from a poem of mine called “An Ocean Called Life”)

When we feel “turned on” by life, our energy system is literally ON. When we feel turned off by life, we literally lose our force field, and therefor our space. Every day, every hour, every moment even, check in on your space, do it until it’s a habit, until it’s second nature, and hold it…not with force, but with THE force, your internal awareness and attention, your will, your breath, your movement. Allow everything that you are to expand from within you, through your identification with the space that you are. Notice that when you identify with stress, emotion, thought, and the external experience, instead of the internal experience, that the force will weigh down on you, instead of animate and inflate you.

Find ways to animate yourself, not with stimulation, but with natural experience and internal awareness and you will find that this skill of self-animation is the most useful and powerful thing you can do to take with you into every experience you can have, from sitting meditation, to desk work, to rock climbing, to sexual interactions…it is how we all for our energy and spirit to create deep and impactful experiences IN your body. This is how all beings take part in natural growth, learning, adaptation and evolution, via the effect that their experience has on their inner space…our interaction with space via our consciousness molds everything that we are. Our awareness is directed by our attention, space is felt with our intention, and it is animated and moved by our will. This is not a physical thing, it can happen not only in your own body, but in others as well…this is basic reiki or pranic healing when done with neutral and loving intention.
We only feel “empty” in a negative sense when we are not present within our space…when our presence fills the space of our being, it is actually very possibly the most freeing thing a human being can feel! I could actually replace the word “emptiness” with “fullness” in this context. So what we are going for is mind-full-ness, heart-full-ness and body-full-ness. We are not filling ourselves with thoughts, emotional stimulation and tension, but with presence!

You can hold space for healthy thoughts, feelings and experiences by applying your will to not only your body space, but your “heart space”(where the feeling of soul interacts with feeling of body) and “mind space”(where presence of mind interacts with presence of spirit..this is your consciousness or whatever :P) as well. You can hold space in yourself and others, and in all areas of your life…not just to make your ego feel good with visualization and wishful thinking, but as an actual act of will upon reality…practice with the body, notice the body is not a thing, but a space, and expand your awareness to all space(s) with recognition of it all being one with you…and have fun exploring yourself as everything!

(Saw this JUST after posting the article, had to add it in here!)

Be still and keep moving <3

How Do I Get More Awareness/Freedom/Health/Energy?



Most of us have, or still do tend to separate our perception of “energy” from our bodies, our minds and our movement, based on our physically anchored perception we are raised with. We tend to separate it from our food, from our clothes, and from our activities, thinking that those things couldn’t affect something so “mystical” or “subtle”, when our experiences of physical reality are so obvious and mundane.
This is where things get messed up for anyone seeking greater clarity, depth, presence and vitality. EVERYTHING in our experience is “energy”.
Yes, many of us know this as an idea, we think about it, we talk about it, we accept that everything is made out of energy…yet so much of the time, we do not think we have the ability to interact with it directly, in order to change anything in our lives in a powerful way. The truth is, that even though we don’t recognize it, every single thing we do, and avoid doing, effects our energy. We can think of this in very practical terms…energy, not as the “subtle force of life” that spirituality implies, but as we speak of it in daily life…

“I have so much energy!”
“I just don’t have the energy…”
“I wish I had enough/more energy.”
“This place has great energy!”
“The concert was amazing, the energy of the crowd was electric!”

Most if not all of us recognize how it is possible to feel a place, a group, an event, or ourselves, as energy(an experiential, internal feeling based perception), or a lack of it. This is how we recognize energy without a depth of experience/practice/training, as “AMAZING”, or “CRAP!”, as we have not paid attention to the more subtle aspects of ourselves and our lives. We tend to only recognize the energy of our experience with it’s extreme highs or lows, when the energy is over flowing completely, or utterly lacking. To mend this, I personally just started to pay attention to how every single thing in my experience caused subtle(or not so subtle) changes in my body, and how that moved into an emotional and/or mental experience. As I began to pay attention to that, and the subtle became more obvious, I also noticed the ways in which my mental and emotional fluctuations effected my body, and how that in turn effected the way I was acting, and therefor what kinds of experiences I was having. As I kept paying attention to these cycles, as well as taking appropriate action to rectify reactions and to respond consciously, feeding presence and conscious actions/movements into the cyclic patterning of my experience, I began to change dramatically. The change was not in who I was/am, but in how much of myself I could experience directly, and how directly I was being present and aware of my own experience. As the actions come more and more from this “moreness” of Self(big S, true self, the one being exposed and incarnated by your deepening perception), instead of from the illusory sense of self/ego, your demeanor, perception, emotions and mind state start to reflect the growing capacity for spirit that you are cultivating…simply through your choices to come from the right place in every single moment possible. Every time you choose to look deeper, feel deeper, and act from a deeper, more heart felt place, it literally changes your biology.

So back to energy, how does this all tie in?
Every single thought, word, emotion and action has a direct effect on every single part of you, this has been proven by science, in psychosomatic studies and beyond. Every single bite of food that is a bit too much or of the “wrong” thing for your current state of being, every single time you slouch for too long, forget to breath deeply, forget to stretch, forget to stop worrying, forget to care, care about the wrong things, and especially put attention on your body instead of what’s effecting your body, you are allowing your attention to be enslaved by the world, by your experience, and it drains you of energy. This prevents any pronounced experience of healing, change and personal/spiritual growth.
I have found that by igniting myself in those very simple areas of life, I gained an extremely deep awareness and some very profound “spiritual/energetic skills”, in a fairly short period of time.
This was of course added to qi gong, shamanic work and other types of movement and meditation, but all experiences are at their core, the same type of experience, simply energy moving in different ways…and we can learn how to pay attention to it within any experience!

When your habits are the tools of a control mechanism(like mainstream society), even a little bit, you will be lacking in the energy, power and will that you could use to do anything from just allow yourself feel better and maybe heal an imbalance/disease, or even activate potential powers/siddhis(which we all have the potential to do, clairvoyance, telekinesis, invulnerability etc. they’re actually quite natural once you live naturally[from spirit]).


I can’t speak for anyone else, but we are all human so I think this all makes sense for everyone, and I found that when I took complete responsibility for my energy, my movement(static posture included), my emotions and my thoughts, and all patterns of experience related to them, and I began to either hold back, or pour into the patterns as needed, I began to peel back layers of masks, illusions, lies and imbalance that we preventing me from experiencing the depth of my soul through this body and my reality. Of course I’m still working at this and will be for the rest of my life, but I have gained a keen awareness of myself and others, as well as the dynamics of reality around me, that keeps me in a deep awareness of the cause/movement/effect of every little thing around me, and the impact it all has on how I feel/my energy level.

The most simple form of this practice is just placing your awareness on your body, and feeling the direct effect of a sensation. Any placement of awareness on the physical organism has an effect that you can feel, it might be extremely subtle at first, but the more you come back to this action, the more you feel. Your nervous system springs into action any time there is stimulus and sensation. Your attention/focused mind, emotional state, physical relaxation and breath can all begin to work together to cause immediate changes on the body as you simply feel it, just like the more push ups you do, the more you feel your arms, chest, core and legs all working together to allow you to do better push ups. Feel the tip of your finger right now for a few moments…feel it tingle…THAT IS ENERGY. All sensation you feel, is the informative nature of energy, informing your body as to how to feel based on it’s memory of reaction and/or response to the stimulus effecting you. If you do not “own” your body with your own attention, than your past, other’s thoughts and emotions, the environment and everything else around you will shape and mold you…you are always being created, in every moment. Either you allow your awareness, and the energy flow created from it shape and mold you, or everything else in your experience will. If you do not have the level of internal attention to hold your form/energy than you will try to use food and all other manners of external matter and experience to change yourself, which can work, but it’s very difficult for many of us, as it is an indirect form of experience compared to your own awareness simply leading the energy into/through you. If you have enough awareness/energy, you can use food, material and circumstances, either neutrally, without harm, or successfully, but at times you will see how little that is needed as your awareness grows, as everything you do for your own good begins to nourish you more and more. Just sitting, breathing, moving in place, begin in nature etc, becomes fascinating and innately energizing, as you have freed yourself of all distractions that would have previously lead your attention, and therefor your energy away from your body.

The more that your attention, awareness, presence, thought, feeling and action lead inward in a balanced way(without bias or preconception/judgement you could say), the more energy you will have to live as you would like, as this gaining of internal awareness is the most freeing thing that can happen to a human being. Just as an amazing body awareness will lead to an amazing freedom of movement(like in martial arts, gymnastics or calisthenics), an amazing feeling awareness will lead to a freeing up of how you feel on a day to day basis, so that you do not have to try and escape your life to find peace or happiness, but you find that you are so free, and that peace and happiness, as well as awareness and energy are simply present, because you allow enough space within yourself for it to be so.

Be still and keep moving <3

Why Do I Think/Feel/Act the Way I Do? How Do I Change?


We are a creation of our experience. We are a creation of our expression.
We are a creation of our own creation.

We are constantly being created by the currents of moments/moment currents passing through us…each experience made up of infinite potentially flowing currents of life force being moved and shaped by the awareness of them happening. Every moment is arising without us making it do so, yet how it appears to us and how we react or respond to it comes by way of our perceptual filters.
How can we engage something as seemingly vague and out of reach as our own mental filters do you ask? We have to engage them through our body, as it is what is filtering and arranging our intake of experience, just as it is filtering our water and arranging nutrients we consume from food. Out body is a reality transceiver, that works based on our perception of it, and how it is interacting with our environment…so how do we change how we interact, react and respond to our environment? By adapting.

Both conscious and unconscious/subconscious adaptation happens naturally within the animal world, including humans. All creatures of the earth have the innate ability(to varying degrees) to adapt to their environment, an undertaking of a psycho-physiological shift within themselves in order to survive and thrive. Many people do not understand how to change themselves on an emotional, mental and spiritual level, although there is some degree of common understanding of purely “external/physical” change within the human body, as in the developing of strength via training of the muscles, but we are capable of much, much more. Humans are also able to change the way they perceive reality, via the shifting of beliefs, emotions and even physical movement and various ways engaging their bodies and minds. Many people may realize these things, but they cannot see how it could be a practical thing to try and become healthier or more psychologically balanced, but the way that we engage with and interact with our bodies, as consciousness, is literally the most powerful way to change anything within or around us!

We psychosomatically store trauma from physical, emotional and mental stress from the time we are born, our entirely plastic neurology that usually allows us to grow and continue adapting to the “stress”, or the evolutionary pressures of our environment, actually begins to suffocate us if we experience and/or hold onto too much of the stress, instead of allowing the currents of those moments pass through our bodies as they could. This is both entirely and not at all our faults. 99% of us are raised in environments and cultures that either do not know or do not care about how we are being changed by this trauma, we do not realize how deeply the compressed nerves, fascia and blood vessels in us change…we do not realize that the more tension we hold onto and allow to compress our viscera, the more the electrical current of our nervous system is hampered and caused to become inefficient, thus allowing for both psychological inhibition and unconscious alteration(even manipulation, from media and other people) as well as bio-physical imbalances and disease. The fluids in the body are constricted and begin to stagnate when we are this tense and reactive…the blood cannot reach the extremities, the lymph cannot move and cleanse our bodies and the cerebral-spinal fluid cannot move through the spine, nor can it effectively reach the brain…we begin to “freeze up”, and slowly we petrify as we begin to slowly cease our natural function as age/decay takes over…if the body is not allowed to move freely, it stagnates, and instead of being full of life, death begins to accumulate. We do have the ability to change this though. We have the ability to bring our bodies back to life in a myriad of ways…many do yoga, get massages, eat better, or try to find other ways to “get healthy” which work for them, but many do not understand the principles of health that they are looking to engage in through doing these things. Most people do not know that the current of life itself is directed and focused by our will and intention…our life can only be as powerfully lived as our will is freed up, as it is the will that we engage to create movement and make change.

Change happens when something moves, and nothing moves until something changes.


So we’ve established that movement changes things, any movement on various levels, changes what we engage with at that level…so if we move our muscles in certain ways, they change…but this is not the end, this is what happens with EVERYTHING that we will to move, the will pumps more conscious/living energy into the system, and the system changes, it is literally a form of art! We are constantly being created by how our mind is moving…the attention, lead by intension/focused will is like the paintbrush, and we use the colors of our experiences, thoughts, feelings and actions to create…the problem usually being that we are stuck in ruts, old patterns of movement that involve everything from doubt and self-pity, to anger, hatred and violence because of the trauma “locked” up inside of us, the tension of which is weighing on our minds, hearts and bodies, and literally “pulls our reality strings” so to speak…the unconscious (in)tension we carry pulls on the electromagnetic fields all around us, the currents we have had pass through us for so long from reacting to the trauma have magnetized many of us so that we are drawing in more and more of what is literally starving our viscera, dumbing us down and slowly killing us. The looped currents of incoherent/distorted electrical charges in our tissues, emanates from us into reality, and reality creates feedback based on the information/magnetic radiation we are putting off…it gets much deeper when going into “sub-atomic/quantum” levels, but it’s all basically one living field of consciousness feeding back into itself in infinite ways.

That said…when we begin to will ourselves into new habits, new ways of thinking/perceiving, new ways of feeling, and therefor new ways of moving ourselves, as little pieces of reality, we begin “re-shaping the puzzle pieces that we are”…if you don’t like what you’re connecting to experientially…you must change your shape/form/structure through adapting to new ranges of motion, thought and energetic flow. We must change the information that is stored in our biological memory, most of which is emotion and trauma…which can be formed back into life, by ways of opening the body and allowing for freedom of movement, and a ever deepening flow of the biological breath that animates us. Every new movement that we feel is like walking a new path, and every time we move that way again, we carve that path deeper into our neurology via the flooding of information through our bodies…every time we move in with a deeper perspective of what is happening, the more integrate and nuanced mind-body awareness becomes.

There are many ways to engage the healing mechanisms of the body naturally,  one which I enjoy and share is through intuitive movement/pandiculation(the same type of movement flow we tap into when we yawn!), which is very similar to myofascial unwinding techniques, but can also engage the body more deeply, on the neurofascial and electromagnetic layers of ourselves, as we deepen our ability to feel into, move with and engage the “mindbody interface”. This can be done through micro-movements, as well as general exercise, and as we work into a deeper relationship of engagement with the body, we can begin to engage the neurogenic healing functions, which is when the autonomic nervous system and limbic system come into a cohesive resonance, thereby allowing the body to naturally move on it’s own, stretching, opening, compressing and expanding, as well as literally shaking and vibrating out tension patterns locked into the body via traumatic incidences and the every day stress of our lives. The body is intelligent and self-organizing and knows how to heal itself, if we can relax into an awareness of it’s natural functions…the breath just goes, the heart just beats, the eyes blink, yet we can tap into these functions and control them…it is the same with movement, yet our exploration is in the “opposite direction” of our autonomic functions…we have, through engaging in traumatic patterning and behaviors, blocked of the subconscious/unconscious connection to our bodies, and have lived over consciously in some areas of the mind and body, and completely unconscious in others, bringing pain, imbalance and weakness to the human organism.

To release ourselves from the biological cages of our own trauma, we must “re-direct” our awareness back into the body, and feel for how our bodies are screaming for us to breath, move and engage ourselves more fully, with more presence and with a willingness to listen to it’s way of communicating with us…which is unfortunately so often through pain and suffering, which is meant to be a last resort, but has become the norm of daily life for so many. To open the body is to allow the stagnancy causing the sensations of pain, transform into a more “pure sensation” as we feel past the stagnancy into movement. By changing the information stored in our bodies via feeling and engaging the actual biological responses we have to it, we literally change our sense of self(to the point of it dissolving…yes, scary at first, but good in the end…it’s how we “free our minds”), our health, our everyday emotional states, as well as our perception of reality…and back to perception we have come…yes freeing our range of motion frees up our range of perception.

My Vine of Life Alchemy/Alchemical Movement videos, which are videos of myself engaging the mind/body in this way, are examples of how it can be done. If you’d like to check them out, visit the “Alchemical Movement” section of this website, or the “Services” section to read about my work with others in this way and the various ways it can be done.


Natural, Organic Alchemy-The Art of Change-Shamanic Nei Gong-Auto-Kinetics-Life and Stuff


The process of internal alchemy, more commonly stated, conscious adaptation/evolution, is simplistic in nature…just like the process of a tree, or a vine, growing is very simple in nature.
When you begin to think about it, all the details of the workings of a growing plant become complicated. Thinking about nature is futile. You can have thoughts about the nature of things during the process of growth, it is healthy to contemplate to a certain degree, but attempting to get anywhere or find out anything by thinking is quite absurd. It’s like attempting to travel by talking about the destination! Maybe some energetic momentum can be built via expression, but the potential that arose within the mind needs to be moved with and actualized with presence and deliberate action.

Like Einstein said, we must rise above the level of the problem to find solutions, and often our issues are rooted in our minds. There is more to the mind than just thought.
All actions that lead to your growth are deliberate, presence and will fuels our actions, making them powerful. The fact that they are deliberate does not mean that you were aware of the action needing to happen before you acted…it means that you were present enough to feel that the action needed to be taken, and further more that you were open to and conscious of the influence/energy/force that was moving you into action.

If clarity is maintained over time, the right actions will be easier to feel, as the force of their manifestation builds, like a storm, the air/experience becomes electric, and you are the conduit that bolts of life energy naturally flow through to achieve an arc of reality creation. How you channel this energy is everything. You are a prism through which this light passes, your shape, the form you are taking on through all levels of movement shapes everything else with how it passes the light through the shadows. Be aware of your thoughts and actions while, or before they take place, and either step into their current fully, or avoid that which is not of benefit to you. To evade certain currents in life, is to become alive and present enough to dictate what you are doing with the cards you are dealt, instead of suffering the consequences of not knowing how to play. Life teaches us to play.

When you do move into the current of an experience, move deliberately into action, allow the current to flow through you smoothly, sit up straight, breath calmly and smoothly, pay attention and see what magic waits for you. Nature/life teaches us how to change with it. We are innately included in life’s processes. We are the only ones who allow them to ever slow or stop. Nature breathes, listen to it’s breath change everything, allow yourself to recognize your breath and the breath of nature as one, and change everything…

Cultivating Harmony and Coherency of Change Via Movement-The Process of Natural Yoga


The process of true yoga is to constantly and/or consistently hold space within the body. Eternally coming back to the act of freeing tension through relaxation and re-establishing tension through biodynamic breath, movement and stillness...tensegretic stillness is filled with movement and movement is sourced from stillness. We can become infinitely aware of how our stillness and movement are sourced from each other, and we can smooth the process of interaction between facets of our reality, be it body, mind or soul. The mind should be allowed to become free of boundaries, limits and patterns through the stretch and exhale, so that new, organic and coherent patterns may be formed/re-formed through spacious movement and the inhale.

Each breath, stretch, release and movement pattern that is moved through in a new way begins to re-form us, and frees us from our psychophysical, perceptual and spiritual caging. Every free/spacious movement pattern that is re-produced, re-enforces our presence, will and strength within our current psychophysical, perceptual and spiritual “limits”.
One who enjoys personal growth is always after strength, but to become truly powerful, one must always also be freeing themselves of their strength, less it become what cages them. Strength is of no use if it cannot be carried into the future with ease and depth of presence. It is not strength itself, but the freedom to tap our potential strength freely and with ease that is sought after…it is freedom of strength is that which so many people dream of.
When you tap into the force of life/movement/growth within your body/mind/soul(all sort of the same “thing”), and are open and present, you WILL be moved by it. As long as you do not hold yourself still and struggle internally, life will always move you.

Where ever life is, there is movement…where you find movement has not arrived in the body in your experience of yoga, life has lost it’s grip, or death has grabbed hold. Fill the shadows in your psychophysical line of sight with light…fill the numbness, tension and pain in your body with presence, with breath, with movement, deliberately and with a relaxed determination and life will prevail once again. By opening your body and anchoring your presence through it by breathing with life’s ebb and flow, death once again becomes your foundation, instead of it rotting your support beams. You will return to the earth eventually, allow death to be there waiting, allow it to trail behind and below, inspiring you to move…but ALWAYS allow life to move through you, allow it to fill you until it moves you to living thought, word and action…then you will find the peace of union that you will want to yolk constantly. It will not be an effort, it will be a joy to remain present with your impermanence…you will heal and change naturally, into more of who you are, which is the earth, the sky, and everything in and between presenting itself as an experience…enjoy!